Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Goodbye is just a second chance.
As the sun rose over a changed landscape, Varun felt a strange fear. He hadn’t felt anything like it in the last forty eight hours. Yet, the last forty eight hours had been the wildest and craziest forty eight hours of his life. Foolish too maybe, but definitely crazy and impulsive.
He looked around the beach where he was sitting. It was a beautiful beach, isolated and mesmerising. The cool waters of the sea caressed his feet, the froth of the water leaving marks of itself on his fingers. He took another swig of the cold drink and the fizz made his eyes water. Yes, he felt a strange fear now, and it surprised him. He had always been an impulsive kid, not thinking before doing something. But his actions never instilled fear in him. But now amongst this unknown land and a sea of unknown faces he did feel afraid. He could not relate to anything. This place in its totality was alien to him. It’s people, its language and even its food. But still it was the first place he could think of when he wanted to run away from his little known world.
Varun closed his eyes and all the thoughts of the past two days came rushing into his mind. The flashback started.
He remembered waiting for Rahul at the college gates. He was really apprehensive because it was the day the results of his 3rd year engineering life was to be declared. As soon as he saw Rahul, both of them rushed to the board which had the list of marks stuck to it. Pushing and pulling through the crowd of his classmates, Varun’s world stopped spinning when he saw what was written beside his name on the list. He had failed in his exam. A whole year to waste. He did not care to look back at Rahul, but rushed back home and broke the news to his parents. The first thing he received was a resounding slap from his father.
“This is the result of the time u waste with your so called ‘Band’. Playing music, are you? If you would have studied atleast a bit for exams rather than perform at those lousy concerts, you could have passed. You know what young man, you’re not my son. You do not belong to my family,” his father stormed.
Varun rushed upstairs to his room. Yes, he did play music at different concerts with his friends, but he could never call it wasting time. Music was his passion, and his father would never understand that. Impulsively, as always, he got hold of a duffel bag. Stashed in some clothes, hung his guitar round his shoulder and left his house. His father made no attempts to stop him, though his mother held on to his shirt and cried. But he had decided, he was leaving home and never coming back.
He reached the railway station and got a ticket for
“Take me to a beach,” he instructed to the rick driver. It dropped him off at a beach with golden sands. He bought a cold drink from a little shop which was just opening up for business. And this is where he had ended up, staring at the sea which was blazing orange and golden, in the light of the rising sun. he knew nothing about what to do next, where to go, but he found a strange peace at this place. His thoughts were no longer impetuous, but now they made more sense. He realised his mistake. But yet, there was one thing that stopped him from going back.
“ You do not belong to my family,” his fathers voice wrung in his ears. He stayed on the beach till the heat got unbearable. Deciding to check into a motel, he headed back to the station to get his bag.
As he entered the station, he saw a man standing in front of him. This man looked crazed. He was laughing, but there were streams of water running down his cheeks. Surprised, Varun noticed that this man’s eyes were set on him.
“ Who asked you to run away idiot? We were going crazy! Its been two days since you left. Two days! Have you any idea how long that can be?” his father said all at once.
Varun couldn’t speak. There was a very disturbing lump in his throat, and his eyes were stinging.
“How did you find me?” was all he managed to croak.
During your last trip here, which is a good eight to nine years back, you got lost in the city. Your mother and I had a tough time looking for you. Atlast we found you on a beach. Alone. You weren’t afraid about being lost, instead you confessed that it was kind of fun! That night you told me, that if ever in your life you feel disillusioned or lost, you would come to Vaizag. When I couldn’t reach you on your phone, I thought I’ll take a chance. And what luck to find you here as I walked in! I feel like I got my life back,” his father’s voice broke at the last sentence.
“I am sorry dad,” Varun said in a shaky voice.
“I am sorry too,” his father said.
“Come dad, I’ll take you somewhere.”
The did not utter a word all their way to the beach. As they sat down on the damp sand, the sun shone happily on their faces. The silence was comforting.
“And you kiddo, you do belong with me,” his father hugged him hard.
After many years Varun cried in his father’s arms. And yes, he believed him.
He did belong somewhere. And he had found the place.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
The sweating arms and backs of the Calcuttans brushed past my skin...i was disgusted and tried to make my way amidst the swarm of people who seemed to be running for their lives. I looked up.
Time stopped around me and everything melted away to create a dizziness. The whole world seemed to do a somersault when his eyes caught mine...looking into those russet-brown eyes i remembered why i'm here...why i managed to feel like i'm flying as the scorching summer heat scalded my skin.....
He ran across the street towards me..a twinkling smile on his face...his hair winnowing in the wind....
He's like a dream when i'm not sleeping....
I choked on my own breath...it was unfair how he could paralyze me with just a smile...
"Hey...hows it going sweets?" he asked.
"I'm just fine....purple suits you," i smiled at his shirt.
"Thanks...you look gorgeous," he smiled back....his smile a zillion times prettier than mine.
We sat below a shady banyan tree, on a cemented pavement.
"I got you a little something," i said.he looked at the little crystal heart that rested on my palm.
"Ohhhh.....that's ravishing...just like you," he winked at me.
His phone buzzed.
"Hello??oh yeah...hell yes!! i totally forgot..!! never mind...yeah yeah...i'll be up and about in 5 minutes..sure sure.."
"Hey sweets," he continued "It's work...i'm really sorry but i have to go...it just pops up anytime...will catch up with you sometime later."
He stood up and tried to stash the cellphone in his pocket...my crystal heart slipped through his fingers and shattered on the pavement.
"Oh...i'm so damn sorry..." he apologized while gathering the pieces, "it just slipped! will make it up to you bigtime! gotta go, take care..I love you!", he took my palm and placed my broken heart atop.
I kept staring at him till the selfish Calcutta crowd blocked my view.
As i clenched my fist, my knuckles screamed in protest when the shards of crystal pierced my skin....i could feel the wetness of the blood....
Now i knew....dreams are meant for sleeping....
When i closed my eyes it was no longer the scorching sun....but a mild breeze was blowing...it was a day when everything changed...a day when he would see through my superficial looks to the depth of my heart....a day when he would promise to take better care of my heart....a day when he would say that he loves me...and would mean it.
"And still............................I love him," i mumbled like an idiot.
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