Tuesday, September 21, 2010

It never died

"But why?why did you do this to me?" she questioned.
Rohan looked at her, with a feeling so confused. was it guilt? was it pity? he didn't know.
"I tried...believe me, i tried.but i just couldn't hurt you that way," his voice shook helplessly as he explained.
"Ofcourse, you tried," she smiled so eerily.
Ayushi was totally calm...she was taking very deep breaths..as if in an attempt to calm herself..but her hands were shaking uncontrollably.
This totally unnerved Rohan. This calmess meant either Arushi was too frightened, or too angry. There was nothing about her expression that betrayed what she was going through.
"What..what exactly did she have, that i didn't?" she asked.
"Its nothing like that Ayushi..please don't compare...its just that..I, i am in love with her," Rohan confessed.
"Are you? ARE YOU??" she screamed. With one pull she upturned the tablecloth. There were shards of crystal lying all over the floor..and she started laughing hysterically.
"Three years...three goddamned years!! Doesn't count, does it?" she choked out, in between peals of bloodcurdling laughter.
It was true, they were living together for three years now. Rohan knew that this girl had given him all she had, and now this is how she was being rewarded.
Ayushi walked up to the balcony...shaking frenziedly. She turned to face him. Her pretty eyes were sparkling like diamonds. The tears ran down her cheek, never tired.
"Why?" she pleaded, like a little girl pleading for a candy from her mother.
Rohan took tentative steps towards her. He reached out and touched her shoulders.
"I am sorry Ayushi," his voice too sounded like a child's.
She looked deep into his eyes, laughing again.
"You do know that i will never let you be happy with her, don't you?" her eyes shone with rage. Rohan shook like a kid, scared. there was something about her voice thatt told him she meant her words.
"Ayushi, please understand, there is nothing you can do," Rohan pleaded.
"Oh really, you think there's nothing i can do? Nothing?" she started laughing again.
She clutched his collars, "No matter which goddamned place i am in, i'll never let you be happy with her. you will never look at her the way you looked at me, never touch her the way you touched me.NEVER!" she screamed her lungs out.
"Ayushi...," Rohan reached out to hold her.
"You...dont... touch me!" she screamed and scratched him.
"Ayushi, Ayushi! calm down please!," Rohan begged.
But she was not listening to him. She struggled to hurt him, he struggled to quieten her.
"I will never let you be happy!" she spit the words out with burning hate.
It was just an accidental push.
A 70 feet fall.
A lot of blood.
A scream.

He heard Ayushi screaming, and woke up with her jerk. This had got to stop. it was the seventh day he got this same nightmare.
The hardest part wasn't the constant interrogations by the police, it wasn't the cold stares. But it was meeting her parents. The tears, the wails. The screaming.
Ofcourse it had been a suicide. he had come home to find Ayushi gone.
A few close friends. A few fake alibis.
Then what followed was a safe life.
Or so, Rohan thought.

The scream kept coming back to him at the most unexpected times. During a party, during a meeting. And especially when he was with Neha.
It kept coming back.
Ayushi's last scream. And it still curdled his blood.
tired, disgusted and frustrated of always thinking the same thing, Rohan slammed close the door of his car.
His head was throbbing. All he could do was close his eyes tight and chant,
"I did not kill her.I did not kill her.I did not kill her."
He fetched the keys from his pockets and opened the door to his apartment.
Every nerve in his body froze, the blood turning to ice.
His apartment was filled with candles, the floor wasn't visible beneath the veneer of rose petals. His stereo was playing soft, romantic instrumentals.
This was just how he had decorated his apartment the night he first made love to Ayushi.
He had carried her in his arms to his room. Kissing her all the while.
His instinct told him that he wanted to run away, but he stepped in, closing the door behind him.
He clutched the door with a shaking hand, to calm himself down.
But his heartbeat only grew faster when he noticed the candles stubbing out, one by one.
Rohan stood there, watching, unable to move, counting his heartbeats.
He felt her hands snaking around his chest.
"Caught you, love," Ayushi whispered into his ears.
And then, the last candle went off.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Goodbye is just a second chance.

I wrote this essay in my first term exam of grade 11. the topic was:
" as the sun rose over a changed landscape.." complete the short story.
well, according to my teacher, it turned out pretty well. but really, i think its amateurish.
anyway, it goes like this....

Goodbye is just a second chance.

As the sun rose over a changed landscape, Varun felt a strange fear. He hadn’t felt anything like it in the last forty eight hours. Yet, the last forty eight hours had been the wildest and craziest forty eight hours of his life. Foolish too maybe, but definitely crazy and impulsive.

He looked around the beach where he was sitting. It was a beautiful beach, isolated and mesmerising. The cool waters of the sea caressed his feet, the froth of the water leaving marks of itself on his fingers. He took another swig of the cold drink and the fizz made his eyes water. Yes, he felt a strange fear now, and it surprised him. He had always been an impulsive kid, not thinking before doing something. But his actions never instilled fear in him. But now amongst this unknown land and a sea of unknown faces he did feel afraid. He could not relate to anything. This place in its totality was alien to him. It’s people, its language and even its food. But still it was the first place he could think of when he wanted to run away from his little known world.

Varun closed his eyes and all the thoughts of the past two days came rushing into his mind. The flashback started.

He remembered waiting for Rahul at the college gates. He was really apprehensive because it was the day the results of his 3rd year engineering life was to be declared. As soon as he saw Rahul, both of them rushed to the board which had the list of marks stuck to it. Pushing and pulling through the crowd of his classmates, Varun’s world stopped spinning when he saw what was written beside his name on the list. He had failed in his exam. A whole year to waste. He did not care to look back at Rahul, but rushed back home and broke the news to his parents. The first thing he received was a resounding slap from his father.

“This is the result of the time u waste with your so called ‘Band’. Playing music, are you? If you would have studied atleast a bit for exams rather than perform at those lousy concerts, you could have passed. You know what young man, you’re not my son. You do not belong to my family,” his father stormed.

Varun rushed upstairs to his room. Yes, he did play music at different concerts with his friends, but he could never call it wasting time. Music was his passion, and his father would never understand that. Impulsively, as always, he got hold of a duffel bag. Stashed in some clothes, hung his guitar round his shoulder and left his house. His father made no attempts to stop him, though his mother held on to his shirt and cried. But he had decided, he was leaving home and never coming back.

He reached the railway station and got a ticket for Vishakhapatnam. It was the first place that came into his mind. Varun stayed up all night in the train. He couldn’t sleep. His phone buzzed constantly in his pocket. Irritated, he threw his sim card away and switched the annoying little machine off. The train pulled into the station at 3 in the morning. He kept his luggage in the cloak room and headed out of the station. Reaching a rick stand, he realised he had nowhere to go to. He had no knowledge about the city, but just a handful of washed out memories from a trip long forgotten.

“Take me to a beach,” he instructed to the rick driver. It dropped him off at a beach with golden sands. He bought a cold drink from a little shop which was just opening up for business. And this is where he had ended up, staring at the sea which was blazing orange and golden, in the light of the rising sun. he knew nothing about what to do next, where to go, but he found a strange peace at this place. His thoughts were no longer impetuous, but now they made more sense. He realised his mistake. But yet, there was one thing that stopped him from going back.

“ You do not belong to my family,” his fathers voice wrung in his ears. He stayed on the beach till the heat got unbearable. Deciding to check into a motel, he headed back to the station to get his bag.

As he entered the station, he saw a man standing in front of him. This man looked crazed. He was laughing, but there were streams of water running down his cheeks. Surprised, Varun noticed that this man’s eyes were set on him.

“ Who asked you to run away idiot? We were going crazy! Its been two days since you left. Two days! Have you any idea how long that can be?” his father said all at once.

Varun couldn’t speak. There was a very disturbing lump in his throat, and his eyes were stinging.

“How did you find me?” was all he managed to croak.

During your last trip here, which is a good eight to nine years back, you got lost in the city. Your mother and I had a tough time looking for you. Atlast we found you on a beach. Alone. You weren’t afraid about being lost, instead you confessed that it was kind of fun! That night you told me, that if ever in your life you feel disillusioned or lost, you would come to Vaizag. When I couldn’t reach you on your phone, I thought I’ll take a chance. And what luck to find you here as I walked in! I feel like I got my life back,” his father’s voice broke at the last sentence.

“I am sorry dad,” Varun said in a shaky voice.

“I am sorry too,” his father said.

“Come dad, I’ll take you somewhere.”

The did not utter a word all their way to the beach. As they sat down on the damp sand, the sun shone happily on their faces. The silence was comforting.

“And you kiddo, you do belong with me,” his father hugged him hard.

After many years Varun cried in his father’s arms. And yes, he believed him.

He did belong somewhere. And he had found the place.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Yes, I wanna run away with you.
In my wedding dress.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Dreams are meant for sleeping.......

The sweating arms and backs of the Calcuttans brushed past my skin...i was disgusted and tried to make my way amidst the swarm of people who seemed to be running for their lives. I looked up.

Time stopped around me and everything melted away to create a dizziness. The whole world seemed to do a somersault when his eyes caught mine...looking into those russet-brown eyes i remembered why i'm here...why i managed to feel like i'm flying as the scorching summer heat scalded my skin.....

He ran across the street towards me..a twinkling smile on his face...his hair winnowing in the wind....

He's like a dream when i'm not sleeping....

I choked on my own breath...it was unfair how he could paralyze me with just a smile...

"Hey...hows it going sweets?" he asked.

"I'm just fine....purple suits you," i smiled at his shirt.

"Thanks...you look gorgeous," he smiled back....his smile a zillion times prettier than mine.

We sat below a shady banyan tree, on a cemented pavement.

"I got you a little something," i said.he looked at the little crystal heart that rested on my palm.

"Ohhhh.....that's ravishing...just like you," he winked at me.

His phone buzzed.

"Hello??oh yeah...hell yes!! i totally forgot..!! never mind...yeah yeah...i'll be up and about in 5 minutes..sure sure.."

"Hey sweets," he continued "It's work...i'm really sorry but i have to go...it just pops up anytime...will catch up with you sometime later."

He stood up and tried to stash the cellphone in his pocket...my crystal heart slipped through his fingers and shattered on the pavement.

"Oh...i'm so damn sorry..." he apologized while gathering the pieces, "it just slipped! will make it up to you bigtime! gotta go, take care..I love you!", he took my palm and placed my broken heart atop.

I kept staring at him till the selfish Calcutta crowd blocked my view.

As i clenched my fist, my knuckles screamed in protest when the shards of crystal pierced my skin....i could feel the wetness of the blood....

Now i knew....dreams are meant for sleeping....

When i closed my eyes it was no longer the scorching sun....but a mild breeze was blowing...it was a day when everything changed...a day when he would see through my superficial looks to the depth of my heart....a day when he would promise to take better care of my heart....a day when he would say that he loves me...and would mean it.

"And still............................I love him," i mumbled like an idiot.

I am participating in the WeBlog's Sleepy Sunday contest! You may read other participating posts HERE

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

U turn my world upside down!

Oops.i'm so helplessly in love :-\

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Do they play punk music in heaven?cuz even after death, i will dance!

Really, everything was perfect. Hollywood-ish perfect.
But ofcourse, i just had to mess things up :(


It was the day my results were declared. I had done quite good. The "oh-wow" glances and the patting-on-the-back felt mega cool, and i was basking under the spotlight.
Yeah i was pretty tired too, what with all the excitement and running to the school to collect the marksheet. So i thought just a quick nap couldn't possibly hurt.
The vibration of my phone under the pillow punctured my sleep. I reached for it, and hit the "answer" button. Ofcourse my eyes were too tired to even open up and check the ID.

The Voice: "Hello Ritupriya, how did your results turn out?"

Me: "Ummmm....pretty good" *yawn*
(did i meantion that the voice sounded like of a Y-chromosome bearer's?)

The Voice: "Well, could you be a bit more specific?"

Me: "Duh yes..maths: 96, Physical science: 97, Bio: 94, anything else?"

The Voice: "OH wow..that is superb! Congratulations!"

That was when i lost it.completely.

Me: "Thanks a lot, sweeeeeeety." (yes, i did stress on the 'e' that way)

The Voice: "Ummmm...Ritupriya, you all right?"

Me: "Ofcourse, now that you called"

The Voice: "you know what? i'll hang up now. see you in class on Wednesday."

Me: "I cant wait."

And i hung up


My sister and i were watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Di: "Who called today?"

Me: "Huh?"

Di: "Who called you when you were sleeping? You talked for a while."

Me: "Someone called?Who?"

Di: "Dumbo."

That was when it ALL came back, rushing into my brain. The conversation. The Voice.
I rushed into my room and snatched up my phone and hit "Call Log".

Received Calls:
Chemistry Sir.
6:07 pm.
Call duration: 00:01:17


It's Saturday today. I intend to live my life to the fullest in the next 4 days. I will miss every bit of being alive. Just want to let all of you know: I completely love you.

Take care people. Pray for my soul.
Love you all.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Okay..whattt? I'm in love??NO WAY!! :O

Me: What is the one thing that you want us to do together?
Chopstick: I want us to be there for each other and love each other like this forever...everything else will happen for us, sweets...

The next moment my clothes and my phone was lying on the floor. i had melted right there.

Okay, i admit, i'm a retard. I didn't even tell him all the things that I want to do with him..i mean, what kinda girl doesn't speak up, even when she has made a list??!!

Black and White Graphics
Oh my god. I think i should just call him back. There is so much he needs to know.

So you think i'm in love?
Black and White Graphics
I think so.

And the best part?
No matter how much the world changes..we're in this together..forever! <3
And you ask me how can i be so sure? I tell you~
I just know it.

Kindly note: Chopstick is a totally original and exclusive name i came up with, for my boyfriend. All concerned ladies may please notice that all rights to this name are reserved. Any unauthorized copying, usage, renting or adapting of this name is strictly forbidden. :P

P.S~ Guys, please bear up with me. i don't think this post makes much sense. Frankly, i have no idea what really it is supposed to mean. As they say, love can do strange things to you :-/
hopefully, i'll get my senses back soon, Amen.