"But why?why did you do this to me?" she questioned.
Rohan looked at her, with a feeling so confused. was it guilt? was it pity? he didn't know.
"I tried...believe me, i tried.but i just couldn't hurt you that way," his voice shook helplessly as he explained.
"Ofcourse, you tried," she smiled so eerily.
Ayushi was totally calm...she was taking very deep breaths..as if in an attempt to calm herself..but her hands were shaking uncontrollably.
This totally unnerved Rohan. This calmess meant either Arushi was too frightened, or too angry. There was nothing about her expression that betrayed what she was going through.
"What..what exactly did she have, that i didn't?" she asked.
"Its nothing like that Ayushi..please don't compare...its just that..I, i am in love with her," Rohan confessed.
"Are you? ARE YOU??" she screamed. With one pull she upturned the tablecloth. There were shards of crystal lying all over the floor..and she started laughing hysterically.
"Three years...three goddamned years!! Doesn't count, does it?" she choked out, in between peals of bloodcurdling laughter.
It was true, they were living together for three years now. Rohan knew that this girl had given him all she had, and now this is how she was being rewarded.
Ayushi walked up to the balcony...shaking frenziedly. She turned to face him. Her pretty eyes were sparkling like diamonds. The tears ran down her cheek, never tired.
"Why?" she pleaded, like a little girl pleading for a candy from her mother.
Rohan took tentative steps towards her. He reached out and touched her shoulders.
"I am sorry Ayushi," his voice too sounded like a child's.
She looked deep into his eyes, laughing again.
"You do know that i will never let you be happy with her, don't you?" her eyes shone with rage. Rohan shook like a kid, scared. there was something about her voice thatt told him she meant her words.
"Ayushi, please understand, there is nothing you can do," Rohan pleaded.
"Oh really, you think there's nothing i can do? Nothing?" she started laughing again.
She clutched his collars, "No matter which goddamned place i am in, i'll never let you be happy with her. you will never look at her the way you looked at me, never touch her the way you touched me.NEVER!" she screamed her lungs out.
"Ayushi...," Rohan reached out to hold her.
"You...dont... touch me!" she screamed and scratched him.
"Ayushi, Ayushi! calm down please!," Rohan begged.
But she was not listening to him. She struggled to hurt him, he struggled to quieten her.
"I will never let you be happy!" she spit the words out with burning hate.
It was just an accidental push.
A 70 feet fall.
A lot of blood.
A scream.
***********
He heard Ayushi screaming, and woke up with her jerk. This had got to stop. it was the seventh day he got this same nightmare.
The hardest part wasn't the constant interrogations by the police, it wasn't the cold stares. But it was meeting her parents. The tears, the wails. The screaming.
Ofcourse it had been a suicide. he had come home to find Ayushi gone.
A few close friends. A few fake alibis.
Then what followed was a safe life.
Or so, Rohan thought.
***********
The scream kept coming back to him at the most unexpected times. During a party, during a meeting. And especially when he was with Neha.
It kept coming back.
Ayushi's last scream. And it still curdled his blood.
tired, disgusted and frustrated of always thinking the same thing, Rohan slammed close the door of his car.
His head was throbbing. All he could do was close his eyes tight and chant,
"I did not kill her.I did not kill her.I did not kill her."
He fetched the keys from his pockets and opened the door to his apartment.
Every nerve in his body froze, the blood turning to ice.
His apartment was filled with candles, the floor wasn't visible beneath the veneer of rose petals. His stereo was playing soft, romantic instrumentals.
This was just how he had decorated his apartment the night he first made love to Ayushi.
He had carried her in his arms to his room. Kissing her all the while.
His instinct told him that he wanted to run away, but he stepped in, closing the door behind him.
He clutched the door with a shaking hand, to calm himself down.
But his heartbeat only grew faster when he noticed the candles stubbing out, one by one.
Rohan stood there, watching, unable to move, counting his heartbeats.
He felt her hands snaking around his chest.
"Caught you, love," Ayushi whispered into his ears.
And then, the last candle went off.
